May 28

Hello from Destin, Florida!!! My family and I decided to take a vacation here after I got mono. We were going to go to Costa Rica, but with all my sickness troubles, we didn’t want to go out of the country in case that happened. It turns out everything happens for a reason, because Costa Rica is actually being hit with a huge hurricane right now. Granted, so is Florida, but clearly we aren’t getting any of it in Destin- it’s all sun and surf!

We rented a house in the village ‘Terra Cotta’ for the week, and it’s very cute. Even better though, the beach is only a two minute walk away, and there are probably at least half a dozen restaurants all within walking distance of the house. So far we have gone to Kenny D’s, Backyard Burger, and Whale Tail. Kenny D’s has been the favorite so far- I got a mahi mahi sandwhich and it was DELICIOUS! We had burgers for lunch from the fast food joint, Backyard Burger. I am totally not a fast food kind of gal, but these were not greasy and gross at all. Each patty was hand shaped and the burgers looked like the did on the picture- big fluffy buns and fresh thick lettuce. Whale Tail was probably not the best place… It was really overpriced, especially considering they served everything on paper plates. The food was okay, just not what we were expecting.

Aside from all the food fun, we also have an outlet mall right near the house that keeps screaming, “Shop here!” At some point during the week we will hopefully get a shopping day. Even if we don’t go to the outlets, there are lots of souvenir shops around here- I am definitely going to get a Destin t-shirt.

Surprisingly, I haven’t gotten too burnt yet (knock on wood). I got more burnt this past Saturday at Allatoona High School’s graduation. It was the first full graduation class of Allatoona, and it was the first year they did graduation in the football stadium. I played in the symphony orchestra so I could watch graduation, but boy was it hot! Despite my sunscreen reapplication every half an hour, I still got fried. But it was worth it to see some awesome people graduate high school. Ryan Manning was in ROTC and he got a very special military award after the graduation ceremony. My best friend’s brother, Brad Gerke, gave an amazing speech as saludictorian- it was better than the valedictorian’s speech and the class president’s speech combined! I didn’t ever get a chance to get to know him, but I know Jessie is going to miss him a lot, and I know he is going to do awesome things with his future. Then I watched Blake Bramblett, Olivia Stell, and Amanda Turner receive their high school diplomas. These girls are absolutely amazing! They kept up with me in the hospital, are beautiful girls inside and out, and got to start the FCA program at Allatoona. Lastly, some awesome band kids said goodbye to their high school years. Melanie Abel, Anthony Alfieri, Evan Lebish, Ryan Barrett, Aurora Cardella, Marcus Porch, Gabby Corrotto, and Nick Mcann were just a few. I am going to miss each of these seniors dearly… Allatoona won’t be the same without them.

Oh! And the Saturday before that, I went to the band banquet. All of the band kids, marching band and concert band, bring food and everyone enjoys the pot luck dinner. The band directors also give out awards. I was chosen by all of my peers to be the VIP of the season. I got a standing ovation from everyone, and I felt so incredibly honored. It was an amazing feeling to have so many people believe I was inspirational to them.

During the last week of school, I went to Allatoona to spend the day with my friends. I picked up my yearbook and got everyone to sign it. I also did my band audition that determines by chair placement, so we’ll see how that goes… Considering I hadn’t played my clarinet since September, I guess it wasn’t bad. But, I definitely still should have practiced more… Ah well- It’s in the past, and I honestly don’t care what chair I get. As long as I can still be in band, I don’t really care

I think that sums up everything I have done lately!! I still feel like I’m forgetting something though….

Oh yeah! I remember now!

I AM NOW ONE OF THE DRUM MAJORS OF THE ALLATOONA BUCCANEER MARCHING BAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so incredibly excited to be a drum major with Ryan Ricker and Nolan Edwards!!! This marching season is gonna be great!

I know everyone else is just getting out for the summer and is happy that school is over, but I, on the other hand, cannot wait till it starts. Some time in June I have a meeting with the counselors to register for classes, and I am super excited for that. Plus, I get several weeks in Pennsylvania after I get home from Florida- Getting to see my grandparents when I am healthy and out of the hospital will be so wonderful.

May 18

Exhilarating. That pretty much sums up the feeling I had when I went for a bike ride. I was finally feeling much better from the mono, even though my body decided to give me more big, nasty mouth ulcers, so I went biking two days ago. I had an app on my phone that was keeping track of how far I went. When I finally got home, I saw that I had gone four miles without even knowing it! What’s even more amazing is that tonight, I did eight miles- obviously I’m healed from all of the sicknesses that have burdened my body.

I went to my high school’s Concert on the Court a week ago where the Allatoona concert bands performed and I got to see my band family. I slept over at Jessie’s house that night and went to Titanic 3D the next day (they definitely should have seen that ice berg… haha!) Jessie’s dad gave me some natural immune boosters to help my ulcers, and guess what? Two days later they were gone. So, thank you so much Mr. Tim!

I went to the marching band kick-off meeting last night, and I am so excited for this year’s season. We get to go to New York on a sight-seeing trip!!!! I’ll get to cross that off my bucket list! Tomorrow night is the band banquet, and I’m really excited for that, too. It’s bittersweet though- being the last time I’ll see all the seniors… After the band banquet, my brother and sister only have four days of school left. We will leave next Saturday for our vacation in Destin- I’m really looking forward to sitting on the beach!

I’ve been doing a lot of driving now that I am all better. I got to drive my mom around to run errands today, and I think I’m getting pretty good. Our first errand was to FCA at my brother’s middle school. They had a group coming called God’s Warriors. These people have biceps the size of my thigh and can bench-press over 250 pounds- it’s awesome. The best part is, they each share their testimonies of their Christian faith and how God is the one who gives them the emotional strength to have such amazing physical capabilities. One of the men told a story about how he can never lift the weights he used to be able to because of a major injury he sustained. He was rushed to the hospital one day during weight training and found out he had an aneurysm on his aorta in his heart. The doctor told him if he didn’t have emergency open surgery right then, he would die in a matter of hours. Of course he chose to go back to surgery, but the whole time he had the realization that he might not ever see his family again. He told us the doctor had performed over 600 heart surgeries- 9 of them were aneurysms like his. Only 1 of those 9 people had survived. Most people would be scared as they rolled into the operating room, but he kept his faith and was at peace the whole time. The first thought he had when he came out of anesthesia was, “Well, Jesus must have wanted me here a little longer”. I’m getting goosebumps as I write this because I can easily relate to his story. My surgery wasn’t a matter of life or death, but it still required a lot of faith for me to get through it. Like this member of God’s Warriors, I also realized that God is going to use my suffering to help me do great things in His name. I spoke at my high school’s FCA last Friday and told everyone about my journey. I know that won’t be the end of me being able to spread the amazing news about God. I also had a thought today… If there are women on the God’s Warriors time who lift weights for God, then I’m going to start biking for Him. Maybe I could even get to the point when I could compete in races- and it would be all because of Jesus. Six months ago I couldn’t imagine even walking around the block because my pain was so bad. Today, I biked eight miles- EIGHT miles! No one can tell me that God didn’t perform a miracle there

April 29

I’ve had a very eventful past week… Last Tuesday marked six weeks of mouth ulcers for me. We knew something wasn’t right, so my mom moved my rheumatologist appointment to Wednesday. So, I got up nice and early to drive down to see Dr. Myerson. I showed him a few strange pimple-like spots that I had and he told me that I do pretty much have Behcet’s disease.

So, there we have it- a declaration from a doctor that explains my autoimmune symptoms. Of course, now it’s hard to determine if the ulcers really are Behcet’s, but I’ll get to that later. With that diagnosis in mind, though, Dr. Myerson wrote a prescription for Azulfadine. This is the most benign medicine to begin treating an autoimmune disease. I took my first dose that night. Thursday morning I didn’t feel that great, but I put on a happy face because my grandparents were stopping by on their drive home to Pennsylvania from Florida. They arrived around 1 in the afternoon, and it was really exciting to see them. Before long though, I really started to not feel very well. I was having pretty bad pain under my left rib cage- not the low ovarian cyst pain I had about a week ago, and not the pain that kept me in the hospital for months on end, either. Naturally, the anxiety of not knowing what this pain was probably made everything feel even worse. I tried to get through it, but it felt like it just kept getting worse. We felt like there was nothing else to do except get it checked out at the hospital. My grandma had to take my brother to baseball, and my dad was in New Jersey, so we borrowed our neighbor’s car and my mom drove me down to Scottish Rite.

While there, I got an IV, some fluids, and some pain meds. In addition to the pain, I had a rash and was pretty itchy. The doctors concluded that I had an allergic reaction to the Azulfadine. Both my parents are allergic to sulfa (the base of the drug), so I guess it made sense. They sent me home on some steriods, and that was that. On Friday morning, I felt okay. I thought it was maybe some random one time pain that subsided over night. Of course I was wrong. By lunch time, it was hurting really bad under my left ribs. I had to go to see Dr. Derr, my endocrinologist, so my grandma tagged along as we went to the appointment. We didn’t get any new information from her. She did some blood work to determine if I really do have a thyroid issue (which we won’t find out till Monday), and we will find out within a few months if my adrenals will be okay. Dr. Derr thinks that I did have an adrenal crisis, but it’s not anything permanent. So, I got some pretty good news from that doctor’s visit. However, the whole time, my stomach felt terrible from the pain that kept increasing. I managed to make it through the day and before I went to bed, I noticed that the bottom of my left rib cage was distended. My mom and I thought I maybe just had to much at dinner or something- I took some medicine and I managed to fall asleep. Saturday morning, it looked a little more swollen and hurt incredibly bad. For the second time in three days, my mom drove me down to the ER.

This trip was quite interesting… The nurse stuck me to draw blood and put in an IV, but my veins were being stupid like always. It didn’t give enough blood and then it decided to spasm and send shooting pain around my whole elbow. Not wanting to torture me, the nurse looked for another vein. When she finally got an IV inserted, I got some dilaudid that took away some of my pain so I could relax a little. The doctor ordered an ultrasound in an attempt to solve the mystery of this pain. It hurt a lot as the technician pushed on my stomach with the ultrasound wand. About an hour after that, my doctor came in and gave us the results. I had an enlarged spleen. According to my blood work, I had an enlarged spleen because I had mono… Yay me! Because I obviously needed something else to deal with…

Since mono is a virus, there is nothing the doctors could do to help me but provided pain meds to keep me comfortable. I could have been admitted for pain control, but there was no chance of that happening. I came home with a prescription for pain medicine and plopped myself on the couch- I have a date with my tv for a while But, I’m still gonna have to do reading for my online literature and history classes… Now that we know I have mono, the lines for Behcet’s are a little blurry. See, mononucleosis can cause mouth ulcers, so whether or not these past six weeks were from the autoimmune disease or the new sickness I have is hard to determine.

This morning my grandparents had to leave before I even woke up. Then, my dad had to leave on another business trip around 4. It’s funny that he hardly ever travels for work, and then as he starts his new job he has to travel to two different states in two weeks. I was getting through today okay, though. I sat in the living room watching My Fair Wedding with David Tutera as I became reacquainted with Pinterest! Gosh, I love that place. I had an account while I was in the hospital, but it is much more fun to do when I’m on my computer as opposed to my phone, haha! After dinner tonight though, more catastrophe struck. Molly and Matthew went out to walk Izzy. I was writing a paragraph to Molly’s teacher about how she completed the Television Free Challenge when she comes bursting through the door screaming. My heart stopped, afraid that Izzy ran away, or Matthew got hurt. But, when I get a look at her, her right hand was covered in blood.

The carabiner on the dog’s leash somehow got stuck on her middle finger and when Izzy ran around the mailbox post, Molly’s fingertip was ripped open. In a rush, everyone was in the car heading to urgent care, myself included- Molly said she needed me. I held her hand as they cleaned her deep cut, pushed her tissue back inside, and stitched the flaps of skin back together. My heart was breaking for my baby sister as I saw her in so much pain- and it was the real pain, not her overly dramatic pain. I had to put on a brave face for her and tell her that it wasn’t that bad. I had to plaster a smile to my face for Molly so that she didn’t see how scared I was. She only kept worrying about me and my pain, so I had to hide that, too. We just needed to focus on her getting fixed. After about two hours, we ran to the pharmacy to pick up her pain meds and then we came home. I kinda broke down when I was alone in my room- I had been so scared for her, and I felt relieved that I didn’t have to hide it anymore. There was so much blood and I almost saw her bone (it was that deep), and at the time I didn’t know what was going to happen. Then the pain that I had from my swollen organs was absolutely terrible, but I didn’t want my suffering sister to see my own pain- so letting a tear escape from my own hurting was okay now that I was alone.

Being brave is one of the hardest things to do. Trying to look and seem happy and carefree when you are anything but, is a complete struggle. The only thing getting you through it is the knowledge that you are helping someone else remain truly happy and carefree. My heart was breaking inside seeing my sister’s wound and seeing her in so much pain, but I couldn’t let her see that- she would only get even more worked up. I am so thankful to God that He held me together and allowed Molly to be okay. Things could have been so much worse, and I am grateful that it was only six stitches that she needed.

All of these things keep reminding me of Job and the biggest questions I think Christians have: Why do bad things happen to good people? I know I am not perfect by any means, and I know I sin each and every day. But, I like to think that I’m not a person of bad character or morals- that I’m filled with good intentions. So, why is God letting all these bad things surround me and my family? I think it’s all tests from Him, trying to see how we react towards Him when we have to endure suffering. I want to continually pray that God can help me to make the right decisions. I know it is extremely difficult to praise Him for all of the bad things that occur in my life. But, I do want to continually pray that I won’t ever turn from Him. I pray I can learn from each negative event how to grow closer to Him. I pray that I can grow stronger as I overcome each challenge placed in my path. And of course, I pray these things for my family as well, because I want them to not get completely discouraged when our lives are filled with difficult events.

In addition to praying for strength and healing for my family, I will be praying that the short-term future for my family will be filled with sun. I would like to have an easy ride for us for a while. I have been very upset recently- because of my new health complication, we have had to cancel our summer vacation to Costa Rica. We are still going to Florida, but that isn’t nearly as exciting to me. I know everything happens for a reason, but I really don’t understand this one right now… That’s okay I guess. I just have to take a deep breath, stay calm, and trust that God knows exactly what He is doing.

Bible Reflection- Job 2

So Satan went out from the presence of the LORD and afflicted Job with painful sores from the soles of his feet to the crown of his head. Then Job took a piece of broken pottery and scraped himself with it as he sat among the ashes.

His wife said to him, “Are you still maintaining your integrity? Curse God and die!”

He replied, “You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and no trouble?”

Job 2:7-10

Satan has seen that Job did not curse God when all of his possessions and children and servants perished. He feels that this was not enough of a test of Job’s faith however. He tells God that he thinks if his health is affected, then Job would surely no longer remain so virtuous. God tells Satan he may do what he likes, but he has to spare Job’s life. And so, Job became sick and covered in painful sores. His wife sees his suffering and asks him why he doesn’t just yell at God and curse Him for the trouble he caused him. Job is shocked at this proposition- he could not imagine cursing God.

I cried when I read this chapter tonight. This is the first time I have ever read through any of Job, and I have been overwhelmed with emotion at how applicable it is to me. I never understood what people meant when they said God talked to them. Once they explained that He spoke through His Word, I still didn’t understand- until now. I knew Job suffered loss, but I had no idea he suffered pain and sickness, too. I feel like God is going to speak to me through this book of the Bible and show me how to use future troubles to turn to Him.

Job sets an amazing example here. He was the richest man where he lived, and he lost all of his possessions. He was close with his family, and he lost all of his children. Now, he was losing his health. Yet, when his wife asked him why he remained so righteous, he says something that really hits home: “Shall we accept good from God, and no trouble?” Job was exactly right. Why do so many of us get angry at God when bad things happen? Not everything in life can be good, and because of that, we have a difficult accepting the bad parts. Think about it like your birthday. You always have the one relative who gives you socks when everyone else gives you money or a new electronic. But, you don’t get mad and yell at that relative for getting you an inadequate gift. You smile politely, say thank you, and hope the next present you open is better. It’s the same with our life and God. Sometimes He lets things happen that really suck compared to everything else. Instead of cursing Him like so many people do, we need to learn to say thank you to God and just pray that the next event in our life that occurs is better.

As I stated in the previous reflection, I am by no means a Job. When I got sick and my health was taken from me, I did not thank God by any means. I didn’t think about the positives to come, I just continued to dwell on the terrible situation I was in. It is a very difficult task to stop sulking in the negatives of our lives. But, if we are able to succeed in letting go and letting God control everything, we have much less stress on ourselves. For example, I had more taken away from me tonight. My schoolwork is a very important thing to me, and I am determined to not let my hospital stay affect when I graduate. So, as you know, I have been working on online classes. Tonight I finished my first physics unit, and did terrible. I did not give up on that class, I just had to let it go. taking science over the summer isn’t going to matter in the scheme of things. It just means I probably don’t get to take an AP science class as a senior- big whoop. I’ll figure it out. But, admitting that I was in over my head was hard and it was frustrating that God had to take away something else that was important to me. As I read Job 2 though, I realized  there are so many more important things. I don’t give up on what I’m doing, I just hand it over to God and let Him take care of it- I let Jesus take the wheel- I let the Holy Spirit bear my stress and burden.

How can we accept good things from God willingly, but are unable to be dealt bad things? It is a sinful, greedy mindset. It seems so easy to just be thankful for everything, but it is so much harder than it lets on. Trying to change how you naturally feel about something can feel impossible. But, I have learned that nothing is impossible with God. So, yes, our suffering sucks right now, but He has a point with it and He will make sure that Satan does not continue attacking you for long. It may feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel, but it will get better. He always keeps His promises.

Philippians 3:13

This is my new favorite Bible verse! I think it is a great representation of what I should do with my life now

But this thing I do: Forget the past and strain forward to what lies ahead.

~Philippians 3:13

I can’t focus on all the pain that I have endured. Instead, I need to look forward to my future. If I can get through something like that, I’m pretty sure I can persevere through anything. So, I am looking to all of my tomorrows. While the concept of the future is very scary for me, I can’t wait to see what God has in store for me!

My Bible from the Confirmation Class

April 22

The past few days I have been dog-sitting for a family friend. I’ve been kept busy with the golden retriever, the black lab, and the maltipoo. But, I love taking care of them, because they are such sweet doggies! My friend Lizzy slept over last night, and we had a blast talking in the hot tub and doing the Brazilian Butt workout just for fun! Then we watched Grey’s Anatomy until we couldn’t stay awake any more. I took her to church with me this morning, and it was an amazing service.

Last September, before I got sick, I started attending confirmation classes at Acworth United Methodist Church. Even though we confirm in sixth grade, I have never been confirmed, so I signed up. Because of my hospital adventure, I was unable to be confirmed. Today was the day that all of the other confirmands were baptized and confirmed into the church. It was amazing to watch all the little sixth graders be presented with their Bibles from their mentors. After the service, Mr. David Hall came up to me and gave me the two Bibles  that were dedicated to me and my brother. All of the other kids in the class had signed their names inside the front covers- it was so sweet! Then, mine had a few letters in the front that some kids had written to me while they were on their confirmation retreat. I only saw these sixth graders about three times before I got really sick, and it made me cry realizing how much they care for me.

I’m still doing good with my online school. I have decided that AP English Lit is my favorite class! I really don’t like physics that much… I can’t wait until I go back to school in the fall. I am very excited to take chemistry, because I really like the few weeks that I took of that class. Hopefully I will be able to have Dr. Maffe as my teacher again… I loved her! Originally, I was going to take a literature class, a science class, a history class, a math class, and a Spanish class before I go back to school so that I would be completely caught up. I’ve changed my mind though. I know I could get it done if I set my mind to it, but I think it might just be too much stress on me. I’ll  still get the right credits to graduate, I just won’t be in the same classes as my friends. I’m going to take math and Spanish when I get back; that way I can focus on just these three classes for now.

Two days ago I randomly decided that I was going to be vegetarian for a week to see if I could do it. I made it through five meals so far! Of course, I’m being an lacto-ovo-vegetarian. That means I will eat eggs and dairy products- just no animal flesh.

My grandparents are driving home from Florida to Pennsylvania and they are going to stop by for a few days this week! I can’t wait to see them this Thursday. I’ll get to show off my driving skills!

I’ll post another Bible Reflection later when I get home tonight. I hope everyone has had a wonderful weekend!!!

~Emily